Writing a kissing scene in a romance novel isn’t the easiest thing to do and a lot of novice romance writers seem to get intimidated by the thought of it, as the great number of online searches point out. If you are looking for a magic formula or a recipe for perfection, you’re not going to find it in this article. Writing a book involves hard work and there’s no magic formula that can do it all for you. However, there are ways to make it easier. Here are a few aspects each romance writer should consider before attempting to write a good kissing scene.
1. Each romance novel is different. It has its own unique fragrance and yours has a bit of you in it. Did I say “a bit”? I rephrase: a lot of you in it. So that’s where you’ve got to start: in you, with you. You can seek inspiration from other writers but never try to copy what they have done. Start from your personal experience (and that includes your “kissing” experience). You must have felt or experienced something no one else has. Look for that little spark of uniqueness and try to put it into words. Preliminary Exercise: before you start writing the kissing scene for your romance novel, take some time to describe in detail your own best kissing experience.
2. The kissing scene is not an isolated episode, something you just throw in because you know it’s got to be there. It’s the effect of many causes, the organic outcome of a whole range of physical and emotional factors. That’s why a good kissing scene will always have continuity with the rest of the story. Lead your readers on a path. Take them on a journey and make everything flow naturally. Nothing is worse than a scene that seems out of context or is inconsistent with the rest. Preliminary Exercise: make a short outline of all the little events that lead to the kissing scene.
3. Decide from the very beginning just how far you want to go. A good kissing scene – a love scene in general – does not have to abound in graphic details. After all, romance is not pornography. Ask yourself this question: do you want to go for subtlety or for a cruder approach? Do you want to go for soft tenderness, for violent passion or for both? In a complex kissing scene, the protagonists can be carefully led from one to the other. Preliminary Exercise: Write down a few keywords – no more than 5 – that describe your kissing scene (e.g. tender, sweet, violent, passionate, unexpected, strong, timid, stormy, sensual, liberating, etc.)
4. The setting plays a huge role in a romance novel. A good setting adds richness, credibility and magic to your scene. Like in a painting, every tint of color is important. Like in a symphony, every note matters. Colors, textures, smells, sounds – they all work together to create a rich tapestry that captivates and engages the reader. Preliminary exercise: Close your eyes and descend into the world of your novel. Imagine yourself in the place where the kissing scene is going to occur and describe everything as if you were there. Go for the most insignificant and minute details. If necessary, go on several journeys and come up with something new every time. Write it all down.
5. The next step is bringing your hero and your heroine into the picture. After all, they are what your story is all about and the main reason why your readers keep flipping the pages. Think of how they got there. Return to the same place again but this time try to visualize them as part of the scenery. See their faces, clothes, gestures, moods and attitudes. Describe them all in detail. Focus on their feelings and emotions. Try to identify with each of them and to help the reader identify with them as well. Preliminary exercise: Type five sentences describing your hero and another five describing your heroine in this context.
6. Involve all the five senses in your description. There are not enough words to emphasize the importance of the sensual element in a romance novel. Focus on what your protagonists can see and hear, but also on the olfactory and tactile element, on what they can taste, smell and touch. Try to avoid clichés, go for fresh and evocative images. Don’t run away from metaphors and similes, but use them wisely and stay away from the obvious. Challenge your imagination to come up with something more unusual (e.g. rather than saying “her lips tasted like honey”, say “her lips tasted like hot mulled wine” or “her lips tasted like orange, mango and cinnamon tea”, or “her lips tasted like milk coffee with a touch of Baileys”, whatever, you’ve got the idea. Preliminary exercise: Find two original similes for each one of the five senses.
7. Focus on the protagonists’ movement and gestures, but also on their sensations, feelings and emotions. Every exterior movement should have an inner counterpart. Everything that happens “outside” should generate an echo “inside”. (e.g. “His lips gently brushed over hers. Her heart was beating wildly.”) Preliminary exercise: Create two columns: one with “outside events”, the other with “inside reactions”.
8. Building sexual tension is another decisive factor in writing the perfect kissing scene. Delayed fulfillment triggers a stronger emotional response in the reader. Stretch it as long as you can, take the tension to the point where it becomes unbearable. Does the love of your protagonists grow from a timid flicker to a full blaze? Prolong that process; make your readers crave for more… Press the “stop and start again” button. For instance, you can let the kiss begin softly, tentatively, with the lips barely touching, as if the lovers were looking for each other in the dark. As the desire grows stronger, they go through a sequence of clinging and letting go moments. They lose and find each other time and time again. With every step, the tension builds up and the atmosphere gets steaming hot. So when the kissing scene finally reaches its climax, the reader will feel fully rewarded.
Mariana Wilson is the author of Eliza’s Writing Jug, a blog offering free writing tips and creative writing prompts for writers and bloggers who are seeking inspiration online. To read more of her articles and get creative writing ideas, visit http://www.writingjug.com
Article Source: How to Write a Kissing Scene in a Romance Novel
uh, what if you haven’t EVER been kissed yet in a sappy romancy setting? I am such a person. I am still very young (I’ll leave you to guess my age) but I really like sappy romance scenes (LOL).
Well, there’s a first time for everything and chances are you have what you need in your imagination. Use the five senses as mentioned in the article and let your imagination take over. There are lots of things writers have never done before that they write about. But that’s half the fun of being a writer! Use what you know and expand on it to create any scene, kissing or otherwise.
I am writing a book and I have an absolutely amazing scene where they are at a party and kissing and everything but I still think it isn’t enough. Do I want to just leave it or take it into a bedroom?
Hi. I think it depends on a number of factors. Where are they in their relationship? What type of romantic novel is this? For example, if it’s an erotic romance then they’ll move much more quickly than a traditional romance. Also, what has their physical contact been prior to this? Linda Howard has a terrific piece called the “12 Stages of Physical Intimacy.” I couldn’t find the original article but here are a few links that cover her piece very well.
http://manuscriptmavens.blogspot.com/2007/07/twelve-steps-of-intimacy.html
http://terryodell.blogspot.com/2010/03/12-steps-to-intimacy.html
Let us know what happens and what you decide to do with your characters!
Thank you!
How do you describe the *kiss*? I’m writing a kissing scene and I don’t just want to say “He kissed her,” but I don’t want to spend forever focusing on the character’s emoticons, etc.
Hi Bleu Jay,
Kissing scenes are some of the most difficult scenes to write so be patient with yourself as you write, and rewrite, the scene.
As you write consider,
what your hero and heroine’s motivations are.
How they act on those motivations
and how the other person reacts.
Don’t stress so much about the choreography of the kiss but rather what each person is experiencing and thinking. What do they smell, taste, feel, and hear? What are their thoughts? The meat of a kissing scenes isn’t so much lips touching lips but why they’re touching and how each person responds to the interaction – both a physical, emotional, and mental response.
And it’s always a great idea and fun homework to read kissing scenes and break them down sentence by sentence. Here’s a blog post that lists several kissing scenes and the book’s they’re in.
http://www.heroesandheartbreakers.com/blogs/2012/02/love-and-kisses-10-swoonworthy-kisses-in-romance
Hi
Im writing a story about a boy and a girl falling for each other and its up to the part where they kiss!!
And im stuck on how to write it. I can find the words to describe how it would feel course iv never been kissed before:(
But how can i write it so it doesn’t take a page but at the same time doesn’t sound cheesy and is over in a second??
Help!! ; )
personal experience? What if i’ve never kissed before???
Hi Bam, please read the other comments in the post as you’re not alone in this predicament. Use what you know, read, and imagine. Then write.
Hi, I need help on a kissing scene.
The “couple” are ex’s and she still loves him and all but he’s married and he still loves her. And they are together talking about his father having cancer and could die. He accidentally kissses her and they both like it. But should they continue to kiss on the front porch if that’s sexy or should they take it inside and then get caught doing it? And help describing it please?
Thanks in advance! 🙂
Hi Annie, I think I’d probably need to know more about your characters and your hero’s marriage situation, but it seems like guilt is going to be a strong emotion here as well. He’s married and assuming he’s a good guy then he’s going to feel guilty. Even if he doesn’t love his wife, he’d probably feel a little guilty and therefore not move the kiss to another room. They’d kiss, enjoy it and feel terrible about it at the same time. I think the strength of the kiss might be that they cannot stop thinking about it after. They want more and the conflict gets stronger.
Regarding the “description” part of it, internal dialogue about memories and how the kiss is different than it used to be and how it’s the same, remember the 5 senses, and any emotions that they characters may be feeling. There’s a great post on Herosandheartbreakers.com that identifies different types of kissing scenes from various novels. What you’ll notice is that the scenes are short and it’s more emotion and thought than choreography. You can find the post here – http://www.heroesandheartbreakers.com/blogs/2012/02/love-and-kisses-10-swoonworthy-kisses-in-romance
I think to make a good kissing Sean you need to make the people reading it feel what they feel
Well howdy!
This was a great series of suggestions & exercises that I’ll take with me into my writing future.
I think I’m somewhat unusual in that I’m a guy who enjoys writing romances (I know there’s others out there), but I don’t read them. So for me it was nice to see there’s several parts of my writing I got right- and others where I could make it better.
Thanks for sharing this. It was well worth the time to read.
Tim
I can build up the moment and paint the perfect setting, but my problem is in the actual kissing. Yes, I have kissed before, but I don’t know how to describe it without making it a bit awkward for my friends to read (because they are kind of the only ones who read it).
I’ve tried just saying it was a passionate kiss but they all say that isn’t enough detail for a good romance story.
Hi Skye,
Use the detail even if it makes them feel awkward. I write romance novels and describe scenes – albeit lightly – to my mother (who often avoided details when I was growing up). Warn them ahead of time, so they can choose if they want to read it; you don’t have to say it’s from personal experience. I myself write from imagination more than experience.
The number one rule in creating a scene to pull your readers in is honesty. Use the five senses, but let your characters decide where to go. Do you feel your character is about to pull away or will she wrap her arms around him? Let her. Be honest in what your envisioning and the quality of the story will take away from the awkwardness of you being the one who wrote the scene.
These are great tips and exercises, thank you! My biggest problem is cliches! My writing style is naturally dry and matter-of-fact, so I tend to copy what I see other writers doing for romance– which translates to cookie cutter cliches! But hopefully I can work on thinking about the five senses and coming up with my own metaphors.
Why are clever metaphors so hard? Thinking of a good simile is like trying to land a plane with…no. It’s like describing a movie to… no. It’s like making an analogy only with florid prose. Wait, was that even a simile or an analogy?
Hi Emily, thanks for your comment and I think you’re quite funny! Not dry at all. At any rate, I say toss in those cliches and just make a point to change them during the revision. Don’t let them hold you up.